24 Saturday Sep 2016
Posted in feelings, Life, Stories, Uncategorized
Thoughts invade my sleep, leaving me without any.
Tired.
I’m everyone’s strength, but who is mine?
Frustrated.
This “strength” has become my inner weakness.
Defeated.
Which mask should I put on today?
Pretending.
Each day feels different.
Changing.
Feelings bottled up, with nowhere to go.
Annoyed.
“They” wouldn’t understand.
Alone.
I will not let whatever-THIS- is get the best of me.
Determined.
It will never control who I am.
Driven.
I will be just fine.
**Dedicated to Someone Special
28 Sunday Aug 2016
Posted in feelings, Life, Stories, Uncategorized
My tears make a path that no one dries
A path filled with let downs that never end.
A silent scene of flashbacks and memories that started the cries
All alone.. not even trying to burden a friend.
Butterflies fill my stomach and also my head
Overthinking at its worst, worst than its ever been.
Sleeping used to be comforting, but now it’s something I dread
Trying to hide the pain with just a small grin.
Emotional all the time, but showing no emotion at all
Ducking behind the walls I built with my own hands.
Thinking to myself, “these walls are so tall”
And my personality is just so “bland.”
::Sighs:: with the thought that no one cares
Feelings become irrelevant.
Thinking that life is just so unfair
And only believing the words that “they” never meant.
I’m better now or so I thought
Fighting it, for years and years.
The horror that my mind has brought
Gets me emotional and filled with fears.
Never going back, doubt clouds my face–
::thinking:: THIS will be my “last straw.”
Everything will eventually fall into place
Starting with Me– everything I am and all my flaws.
13 Saturday Aug 2016
Posted in feelings, Uncategorized
THIS feeling.
An overwhelming out-pour of need.
Or maybe– want.
Loneliness is a disease.
It consumes.
But you can never truly be alone… if you love yourself.
Is it really that hard?
Yes!
How can you WANT someone to love you, if you, yourself, don’t love you.
Stricken with the idea that someone can love you–
The idea that you can possibly love yourself?
No!?
Those voices in your head.
“You’re not worth it.”
But if YOU believe this, so will everyone else.
Worthless.
A word with MORE meaning than it ever intended.
08 Tuesday Sep 2015
Lay your head down to sleep.
Fears fill your mind.
Overthinking at its finest.
What does the future hold?
Can I?
Will I?
What am I?
Sweat beads form around your forehead.
Breathing heavily.
Dreaming of everything that can go wrong.
Chest is tight,
Tossing and turning as time refuses to stop.
This has to be nightmare.
The unknown, the unknown future.
Eyes moving rapidly behind its lids.
Life is moving.
Years are passing.
The same dream haunts my sleep,
so I don’t get any.
Insomnia moves me to walk around.
This is still just wasted time.
What was it all for?
What am I trying to tell myself?
What does it all mean?
Lay back down.
Eyes bloodshot and burning.
Sun rises, as light peaks through the window.
It’s morning and I’m still ridden with fear.
I must be sleeping.
But, like a slap in the face, reality sets in…
No.
My Life IS the Nightmare!
10 Friday Jul 2015
Tags
anxiety, better, calmdown, choice, depression, different, family, feeling, feels, friends, grow, growingup, guide, hate, life
Stuck in your head
Feel like your dead
Staring into space
even though your mind is racing…
No one knows what’s wrong
all you know is it’s very strong
Locked up inside you
Choking you
You can’t breathe, but your mind is at ease now.
BREATHE….
Calm down
Walk around
It’s still there
All around
Everywhere
Can’t explain the feeling
What’s the meaning?
Not in control
of yourself
no one could help
Let me out of the box
with the locks
Hour by hour is just wasted
Amazing…
Can’t eat or sleep.
Restless, but stressless
Amazing, the feeling
of not being yourself
GET HELP!
Stay away from
Prozac and Valium
and hopefully in time it will pass
and at Last…
it’s over
your “Depression”
was just what it was, an Obsession.
thingsnotsaidoutloud 