How can anybody make her pretend to be herself? Looking at people in the face today, she is her own person. But what about before?

BEFORE:

The quiet, not dancing little girl in the corner, insecure about herself…ALL THE TIME. Feeling like a plastic doll (not Barbie though, she’s too skinny.) Always doing what they wanted her to do.

Finally finding shelter with her close family and friends, her “sisters,” at least while all of their mind’s were innocent. Back then, it was so different, they were so different. She might even use the word inseparable to describe them. Never imagining that one day, they will separate and have their own minds, including herself. Some of them might even hate her, but they were there during those innocent childhood days and because of that, no matter where they go or what they do, she loves them, if anything, at least for that.

Who knew the friends she grew up with would all disappear? Her expectations of their friendships have never changed, even now… So naïve. A long time ago, they all made a “pact,” whenever there is a problem it’s fixable…their bond, forever intact, unbreakable. Her better halves, with no boundaries. Perfect right? As, she looks back at those days she realizes she no longer even sees or hears from those “friends.” Long story, short, they broke the pact.

Relationships can take a lifetime to make, but only a second to break. 

A NEW PERSPECTIVE:

Looking back, older, a better person with more experience, she should have seen it coming. Nothing stays the same. As much as she wants it to, nothing stays the same. We grow out of toys and clothes, why not relationships/ friendships? They too can get old. Everything for now, she sees is in a different light, but maybe she’s different and the light has always stayed the same. Her tolerance has grown thin, as she is older. She leaves little room for broken promises, high expectations and paths that go nowhere. She waits, for better things to come, ones that ARE worth it. At least she still believes they’re coming. She will be ready for the challenge. By herself, in her own mind, overthinking and overanalyzing, everything; she’s just not the same.

She is no longer the quiet, not dancing, little girl in the corner. She is the outspoken woman who sits in the center of everyone and she’s dancing…to her favorite song.

“Innocence Fades and People Go Away.”