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thingsnotsaidoutloud

Tag Archives: sad

Laugh Again…

17 Sunday Jul 2016

Posted by lyssiepooh in Loss, Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

laugh, life, Loss, love, mind, poem, poetry, random, sad, thoughts

I took for granted that I laughed everyday

Saying “I miss you” is just so cliché


Without you nothing is the same

I don’t even want to think about it or say your name


The house is empty without your presence

It only smells of burning flames and incense


It’s not even worth coming home anymore

I close my eyes and drop to the floor


I can’t even cry because I’ve become so numb

Thinking about THAT day, with a much different outcome


Because of this, she’s gone for good

The funny thing is, you knew she would


I have to figure out a way to go on

I can hear your voice saying, “Don’t worry you’re strong”


The days go by– one at a time

Praying for the day, I will be just fine


Maybe that day missing you, will come to an end

And you will somehow help me, laugh again.

Do They?

20 Friday May 2016

Posted by lyssiepooh in society

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

acceptance, life, people, question, sad, society, they

Do they know you’re sad?
Do they know you’re affected?
Do they know you cry?
Do they know you’re anxious?
Do they know you can’t sleep?
Do they know you feel alone?
Do they know?

Do THEY know, THEY are the reason?
No….
Will letting them know, make a difference? No….
So,
Breathe.

Get Over It.
They don’t care.
Accept It.

Move On.

The Only Apartment Building That Stood on Radford Street

01 Monday Jun 2015

Posted by lyssiepooh in Family, Stories

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

childhood, family, life, random, sad, stories, thoughts

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          Growing up in Yonkers, New York was a tough place for many people, but not for me. I had a great childhood and the support from all of my family. My absolute favorite place to go was Radford Street. At the end of the street stood a large brick structure that had something special about it and it was definitely unique in its own right. Most people would consider this run down apartment building to be just that, but for me it contained most of my life.

      Every Sunday when I was growing up, right after church, we would walk down the block towards the only apartment building that was located on the whole of Radford Street. Convenience played a major role in why my family was able to get together and spend time, right after church service. What also helped our getting together was my grandfather being the super for the building, so most of my family lived there anyway.

2C was the button that my brother and I constantly fought to push. Grandma and Grandpa lived in that apartment and were almost always home. Their voice over the intercom and the buzzing of the opening door, that was too heavy to push, sent an overwhelming feeling of adrenaline that always sent us speeding up to the second floor. Jumping up and down, we could never reach to press the doorbell, but it never occurred to us that the door was cracked open already, awaiting our arrival. The apartment always had the same smell, most often the food of our culture’s choice, curry and the same old school style that I didn’t really care for, but appreciated just the same. Red and gold colors filled every inch of the cozy home for two and because of its extreme warmth; you almost immediately stripped whatever extra clothes you had on just to stay cool.

Every time I visited, I acquired a routine that I never forgot. Shoes off, coat off and greet everyone, all seventeen uncles, aunts, and cousins, with either a kiss or a hug. Nowadays, children cannot live without television, but in that apartment we ate good food, played games and just enjoyed each others company. Since my uncle loved music and played the guitar and piano, we even sat down and made up songs that we then recorded. Being so young growing up in that apartment, it seemed as if going there was always like a mini vacation.

My cousins and I were really close. Our age differences didn’t vary too much, so we mostly shared the same interests. We did everything together, exploring the ins and outs of that entire apartment building. My grandfather, the super, even gave us a key to the apartment right across the hall, so we could have our own little hang out spot, until it was rented out. We as a family had so much fun in that apartment building, being together and doing things together, that it was part of our everyday lives. Who could have imagined that one day all of that happiness would quickly crumble and in a blink of an eye, everything would change.

My grandmother passed away and although an incident such as this should bring a family closer together, it tore us completely apart. It didn’t take long for everyone to realize she was the glue holding us together and in a way she was making us spend time together, all the while spending time with her. We eventually forced my grandfather out of the home he was familiar with for many years because he was no longer able to take care of himself. Apartment 2C in the building on Radford Street is vacant and rarely visited. Feelings that were once there are vague and sadly when driving, I unawarely pass the apartment building altogether.

Some of the last times, when I used to go to the apartment, either to collect some of my grandfather’s belongings or retrieve his mail, there are no emotions. No voice over the intercom, no buzzing door, no running upstairs, no smell, no color, no people and especially no life. Everyone is older and what once seemed so important, like being together and visiting that apartment, is now just a thing of the past, which no one seems to remember. The apartment and the building I once loved, which held my family together for all those years, is now filled with distant memories that are unfortunately almost all gone.

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