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Tag Archives: thoughts

A Defining Moment

19 Tuesday Apr 2016

Posted by lyssiepooh in Life, poetry

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Tags

life, love, mind, poem, poetry, random, relationships, stories, thoughts

You’re just a fantasy
of what I think I need.

Your presence makes me sick
but, I constantly need to feed.

Addicted to your behavior
but, I’m upset all time.

I keep coming back for more,
making sure that you’re all mine.

I swear this is normal,
I keep telling myself this.

This can’t be what they talk about…
Perfect bliss?

I gave it a shot,
there was a fine line.

I never felt that before,
so that had to be a bad sign.

Being around you,
makes my heart skip a beat.

But, I think that’s stress
or my body claiming defeat.

My patience is running out,
it’s literally almost done.

The fates have spoken,
and I think “They” won.

I can’t sleep at all,
because I feel so bad.

I dwell on memories
and the times we once had.

But I will not suffer another day,
with you by my side.

You do not defend my honor
or protect my pride.

Letting you go,
is the best thing I can do.

Forget what the movies say,
it’s not me… it’s YOU.

Addiction

11 Thursday Feb 2016

Posted by lyssiepooh in Life, poetry, Uncategorized

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Tags

feelings, life, mind, random, thoughts

The mind is deep and dark, but so is the club
Lights, smoke, alcohol- feelings become a blur

Stress takes a back seat, when THAT song comes on
Music so loud, your head throbs, but what’s new?

Reality sets in… “thinking” is not an option
Questions with no answers, running through the mind

Is this what it takes to forget?
Is this my only option?

Mood changes. Go with the flow…

This is much needed, a brief moment…a break


Sweat, blurred vision, an instantaneous high

Addiction IS the drugs, the alcohol, the sex, the food, the work, the smoking, the shopping, the internet, the gambling, the video games…

Fulfilling YOUR addiction, the crave subsides
Addicted to that feeling… of not feeling at all.

-Fin

A Tiny (New Year) Poem

01 Friday Jan 2016

Posted by lyssiepooh in Life, poetry, Uncategorized

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fears, life, mind, newyear, poem, poetry, positive, random, remember, thoughts

“Throw your penny down the “New Year” well,

if it comes true only time will tell.

The Devil will want you to use your penny to pay his toll,

but please think first before you sell your soul.

As the crowd waits for the BIG bright ball to drop,

in this moment, the whole world will stop.

As we begin another year,

live and let go of all your fears.

Look UP and never look BACK,

life will soon get back on track.

Just remember to stay nothing less than positive,

and always be aware of the life you want to live.”

Everyone Needs Encouragement.

30 Monday Nov 2015

Posted by lyssiepooh in Life, poetry, Uncategorized

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Tags

beginning, dontgiveup, encouragement, imagination, life, mind, peace, poem, think, thoughts, words

Don’t ever give up.
Hold on
Try to get along
I’m not saying nothing’s wrong
Just be strong
And soon your imagination
Will turn into determination
Then you will find some reconciliation
And find peace within yourself
But until then
You will have to bend
Just adjust
Buckle up
It’s going to be a bumpy ride
So set aside
Your emotions
Be open
To ideas
And let go of all your fears
Because time heals
Everything will soon work out
Don’t pout
Try and figure it out
Get your life together
Forget the stormy weather
Close your eyes and pray to see the sun
Open them
And hopefully
Your new beginning has just begun.

A Never-Ending Nightmare.

08 Tuesday Sep 2015

Posted by lyssiepooh in Life, Stories

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Tags

anxiety, dark, mind, nightmare, poem, poetry, random, Sleep, think, thinking, thoughts

Lay your head down to sleep.
Fears fill your mind.
Overthinking at its finest.
What does the future hold?
Can I?
Will I?
What am I?
Sweat beads form around your forehead.
Breathing heavily.
Dreaming of everything that can go wrong.
Chest is tight,
Tossing and turning as time refuses to stop.
This has to be nightmare.
The unknown, the unknown future.
Eyes moving rapidly behind its lids.

Life is moving.
Years are passing.
The same dream haunts my sleep,
so I don’t get any.
Insomnia moves me to walk around.
This is still just wasted time.

What was it all for?
What am I trying to tell myself?
What does it all mean?

Lay back down.
Eyes bloodshot and burning.
Sun rises, as light peaks through the window.
It’s morning and I’m still ridden with fear.
I must be sleeping.
But, like a slap in the face, reality sets in…

No.
My Life IS the Nightmare!

And I just have to wake up.

Moods

19 Wednesday Aug 2015

Posted by lyssiepooh in Life

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Tags

calmdown, dreams, life, mind, Mood, Moody, random, Sleep, stories, stress, thoughts

Changes as much as the clock ticks.
Up, down… Bed.
Cry.
Indulge.
Cry some more.
Alcohol numbs feelings.
Laughter to cover up the crying.
Happy for awhile…
Tired from the changes.
Lay down and think.
Eyes close, mind racing.
Up, down…Sleep
Dream.

The Only Apartment Building That Stood on Radford Street

01 Monday Jun 2015

Posted by lyssiepooh in Family, Stories

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

childhood, family, life, random, sad, stories, thoughts

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          Growing up in Yonkers, New York was a tough place for many people, but not for me. I had a great childhood and the support from all of my family. My absolute favorite place to go was Radford Street. At the end of the street stood a large brick structure that had something special about it and it was definitely unique in its own right. Most people would consider this run down apartment building to be just that, but for me it contained most of my life.

      Every Sunday when I was growing up, right after church, we would walk down the block towards the only apartment building that was located on the whole of Radford Street. Convenience played a major role in why my family was able to get together and spend time, right after church service. What also helped our getting together was my grandfather being the super for the building, so most of my family lived there anyway.

2C was the button that my brother and I constantly fought to push. Grandma and Grandpa lived in that apartment and were almost always home. Their voice over the intercom and the buzzing of the opening door, that was too heavy to push, sent an overwhelming feeling of adrenaline that always sent us speeding up to the second floor. Jumping up and down, we could never reach to press the doorbell, but it never occurred to us that the door was cracked open already, awaiting our arrival. The apartment always had the same smell, most often the food of our culture’s choice, curry and the same old school style that I didn’t really care for, but appreciated just the same. Red and gold colors filled every inch of the cozy home for two and because of its extreme warmth; you almost immediately stripped whatever extra clothes you had on just to stay cool.

Every time I visited, I acquired a routine that I never forgot. Shoes off, coat off and greet everyone, all seventeen uncles, aunts, and cousins, with either a kiss or a hug. Nowadays, children cannot live without television, but in that apartment we ate good food, played games and just enjoyed each others company. Since my uncle loved music and played the guitar and piano, we even sat down and made up songs that we then recorded. Being so young growing up in that apartment, it seemed as if going there was always like a mini vacation.

My cousins and I were really close. Our age differences didn’t vary too much, so we mostly shared the same interests. We did everything together, exploring the ins and outs of that entire apartment building. My grandfather, the super, even gave us a key to the apartment right across the hall, so we could have our own little hang out spot, until it was rented out. We as a family had so much fun in that apartment building, being together and doing things together, that it was part of our everyday lives. Who could have imagined that one day all of that happiness would quickly crumble and in a blink of an eye, everything would change.

My grandmother passed away and although an incident such as this should bring a family closer together, it tore us completely apart. It didn’t take long for everyone to realize she was the glue holding us together and in a way she was making us spend time together, all the while spending time with her. We eventually forced my grandfather out of the home he was familiar with for many years because he was no longer able to take care of himself. Apartment 2C in the building on Radford Street is vacant and rarely visited. Feelings that were once there are vague and sadly when driving, I unawarely pass the apartment building altogether.

Some of the last times, when I used to go to the apartment, either to collect some of my grandfather’s belongings or retrieve his mail, there are no emotions. No voice over the intercom, no buzzing door, no running upstairs, no smell, no color, no people and especially no life. Everyone is older and what once seemed so important, like being together and visiting that apartment, is now just a thing of the past, which no one seems to remember. The apartment and the building I once loved, which held my family together for all those years, is now filled with distant memories that are unfortunately almost all gone.

Unhappy Eyes

27 Wednesday May 2015

Posted by lyssiepooh in poetry

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

eyes, life, mind, neglect, random, satisfied, thoughts, unhappy

Unhappy Eyes, See the world for what it is.

To choose between our perception of right and wrong.

Fearing neglect and deception.

Loathing the satisfied.

Mirror images reflect darkness; Fooling the weak into something they think they see.

Only one life to live; not grasping it for what it’s worth.

Craving small acts of kindness; Living on the need to be needed.

Realizing it’s not what you expect, Creating an illusion of uncertainty.

Blank stares. Killing time.

Unfulfilled dreams, wasted on the imagination.

Someone always has it worse, and by believing this, we push through the day.

Dwelling on happier times; Suffocating ourselves with the past.

Letting go of expectations.

Learning to be alone.

Unhappy eyes, see unhappy things.

Unhappiness is what it will eventually bring.

First Post….

25 Monday May 2015

Posted by lyssiepooh in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

life, mind, random, stress, thoughts

Stressed,

Depressed,

and my Mind Can’t seem to Rest,

Every thing Always seems like a Mess,

but I must Confess, that I am truly Blessed,

Because I am Finally the Person that I Want to Be,

Life is purely a Test,

That We All will have to Face,

Because Dreams just don’t Happen,

It’s All about the Chase,

All of us Hoping and Praying we come in First Place,

and get a Taste of Satisfaction,

and Our Reaction will Hopefully be Bliss,

In the Future, we can Laugh and Reminisce,

about A Past that we Do Not Miss…..

~Alyssa Sukhraj

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